Today ( May 10th 2010)

So today was a pretty normal day for me at school and everything was fine until I got in the car when my mom picked me up from school. Of course there was the normal " how was your day" type of exchange, but just as we finished that conversation she puts it out there: " we have to pick up your grandmother from the hospital". This phrase is the most dreaded phrase that I know, not because I dislike my grandmother but because of the usual angst that goes with the ride to the hospital and to Nana's house and even on the drive back to our house. When I see Nana standing at the doors of the hospital I felt sorry for her as usual but I also felt bad for my mom who proceeded to walk to the door and help her walk back to get into our car. Why should my mom have to do this? Why can't my other relatives do this for her? She is their mother too. My mother has done this " partial care" routine for about 5 years now and it has driven her to almost hate my grandmother. But she is trapped in this circle of misunderstanding, miscommunication and disrespect. As we were riding in the car to drop Nana off at her house she told us, " Oh don't forget to remind me to get the rose I got for you yesterday", in which she is referring to a rose she must have gotten at church for mothers day or something. This would seem like a nice gesture and it did until I helped her into her house and picked up the rose and before I could go she handed me a slip of paper that read something like, " Do the right thing and attend family occasions joyously. You know you are going to attend their funerals so why not go to fun events while they are living to better celebrate and tell them you love them ?". My first thoughts were, " where you possibly find such a demented fortune cookie?". This sounds very sarcastic and mean but you must understand my mom could write a Harry Potter sized book full of these little messages that Nana has given her trying to guilt trip her into spending time with these people that I do not speak to anymore. I found this latest tidbit extremely insulting and right after I got back into the car and read the paper aloud to my mom I angrily ripped it up and threw it on the ground.