Today ( May 10th 2010)

So today was a pretty normal day for me at school and everything was fine until I got in the car when my mom picked me up from school. Of course there was the normal " how was your day" type of exchange, but just as we finished that conversation she puts it out there: " we have to pick up your grandmother from the hospital". This phrase is the most dreaded phrase that I know, not because I dislike my grandmother but because of the usual angst that goes with the ride to the hospital and to Nana's house and even on the drive back to our house. When I see Nana standing at the doors of the hospital I felt sorry for her as usual but I also felt bad for my mom who proceeded to walk to the door and help her walk back to get into our car. Why should my mom have to do this? Why can't my other relatives do this for her? She is their mother too. My mother has done this " partial care" routine for about 5 years now and it has driven her to almost hate my grandmother. But she is trapped in this circle of misunderstanding, miscommunication and disrespect. As we were riding in the car to drop Nana off at her house she told us, " Oh don't forget to remind me to get the rose I got for you yesterday", in which she is referring to a rose she must have gotten at church for mothers day or something. This would seem like a nice gesture and it did until I helped her into her house and picked up the rose and before I could go she handed me a slip of paper that read something like, " Do the right thing and attend family occasions joyously. You know you are going to attend their funerals so why not go to fun events while they are living to better celebrate and tell them you love them ?". My first thoughts were, " where you possibly find such a demented fortune cookie?". This sounds very sarcastic and mean but you must understand my mom could write a Harry Potter sized book full of these little messages that Nana has given her trying to guilt trip her into spending time with these people that I do not speak to anymore. I found this latest tidbit extremely insulting and right after I got back into the car and read the paper aloud to my mom I angrily ripped it up and threw it on the ground.

Nana

To begin the story I have to give her an introduction. Nana is my grandmother. I am the youngest of her ten grandchildren and I am writing her story as a call for help and advice. My grandmother is being mentally and financially abused by the rest of my extended family ( excluding my family). Crimes of elder abuse against her include the following:

- theft of money through credit card number retrieval

-physical neglect ( won't take her to a doctor grocery store ect.)

These are the two most concrete describable issues but she also grapples with constant lying and manipulation from her children and their children( my cousins). The reason that I know this is because my mom is depended on heavily to take care of her and drive her to every place that she needs to go. My relatives only attend family functions and get-togethers to snatch from my grandmother the check that she bribes them with. My relatives ( for the most part) are selfish, greedy, careless villains who don't know or care about what is best for my grandmother. But even more than for my grandmother, I am writing this blog for my mom because this situation forces her to do many things that mess her emotionally and this affects me personally. She often has spouts of frustration because the only way for her to possibly escape the situation without unintentionally hurting my grandmother is to wait until she dies ( my grandmother is in her early 90s) But my mom has to be especially careful because my grandmother is also the one who pays for my school tuition because she places a high value on education. To end this rant, I am angered that my family has to go through this immense amount of stress just to get me a good education and I think there is something that should be done I just don't know what.